How To Avoid Online Dating Scams

Online dating scams are an issue that has grown exponentially in recent years. Total losses to romance scams in the US have eclipsed $1 billion dollars three times in the last five years⁽¹⁾. With how much information we put on dating platforms and social media, scammers have the ability to ‘swipe right’ on individuals they believe will be susceptible to their ploys.  
 
We are left vulnerable to the nefarious acts of cybercriminals simply for our innate desire to connect with others as social creatures. However, understanding the potential risks and knowing how to protect yourself can help you avoid falling victim to online dating scams. 

What Are Online Dating Scams? 

Online dating scam is an encompassing term used to describe any scheme used to exploit individuals looking for a romantic connection online. Victims become blinded by their emotions, leaving them susceptible to the manipulation of the perpetrator. These ploys are carried out by doing the following: 
Using a fictitious profile to pose as a potential romantic suitor on social media or dating platforms. This is also known as catfishing. 
Employing social engineering techniques to gain the target’s trust and build an emotional bond before committing some form of extortion. 
Dating scams can happen in a variety of ways and put your finances, personal information, and wellbeing at risk. Keep reading to learn more about common ways in which these schemes are conducted, what you can do to avoid them, and actions you should take if you’ve already been attacked. 

The Five Most Common Types of Dating Scams. 

1. Romance Scams: The perpetrator lures in their target through catfishing or manipulation. They quickly begin asking for gifts and money after establishing the illusion of a romantic relationship. There are numerous ways that romance scams can be conducted, but three common methods are as follows: 
   • Military Impersonation: According to the FTC, this is the most popular excuse used by scammers to not meet in person⁽²⁾. As the name implies, military impersonation involves posing as a service member online to garner sympathy and establish relationships. They often request money for reasons such as being stuck in a warzone or needing funds to return home. They prey on individuals who have an appreciation for military service. 
   • Oil Rig Romance Scam: Similarly, oil rig scammers pose as forlorn workers stuck on an offshore worksite and target lonely, trusting individuals online. They will create excuses to not meet or video call, such as inclement weather or long hours of labor, while they build their dishonest relationship. They will then begin asking for money due to frozen credit cards, broken equipment, or to travel to see their victim. 
   • Sugar Daddy/Mamma Scams: Sugar Daddies or Mammas are older individuals who pay a young person in exchange for companionship. This may sound like an opportunity that is too good to be true, and it often is. These scammers target people in financial distress, such as college students, and offer to help. They may ask you to send funds first to prove your devotion or ask for your personal information to process transactions. They can then use this data for online blackmail or identity theft. 
2.  Sextortion Scams: The scammer establishes a level of trust with the target before quickly turning the conversation sexual. They will start requesting explicit photos and may even initiate by sending manufactured content.  
   Once they’ve obtained the victim’s photos, they demand money with the threat of exposing them to friends, family, and professional contacts. To learn more, read our comprehensive sextortion article. 
3. Investment Scams: Victims are catfished by perpetrators posing as wealthy, attractive individuals. A connection is developed with the target before proposing an alleged investment opportunity that can make them rich. 
   Also known as ‘pig butchering’ scams, these ploys often include fake investment websites that show large returns and promote further investment. They extract the victim’s financial information and collect payments while denying requests to withdraw funds. 
4. Money Laundering Scams: These dating scams involve the perpetrator coercing the victim to unwittingly transfer illicit funds often stolen through previous scams. This is commonly done under the guise of sending money to a loved one or conducting a business deal.  
   They may even openly ask the victim to commit fraud after establishing devotion through social engineering, making them their “money mule”. These victims are aware they are committing a crime and continue either out of fear of being convicted or loyalty to their believed lover. 
5.  Escort Scams: You may come across an escort ad online and be inclined to pursue their services, only to be met with requests for money. They may blackmail you with threats of sending their procurer to confront you or reporting your activity to authorities if solicitation is illegal in your area.

Red Flags & Tactics That Help You Recognize Dating Scams. 

While each case is different, there are some consistent signs that can let you know if you’re being scammed while using dating apps and other platforms. If any of the following are happening to you, it may be time to break off your cyber relationship. 

• Love Bombing: Dating scammers move quickly. They often declare love early in the conversation and bombard you with compliments and affection. While some innocent flirting is to be expected in online relationships, be wary of individuals who come on too strong at an early stage of communication. 
• Excuses for Not Meeting in Person: If your courter has endless reasons to not show their face, they likely aren’t who they say. Excuses for not meeting in person may include job obligations, military service, or inability to travel. They may explain an inability to join video calls due to poor internet service or not having a webcam. 
• Request for Money: Dating Scammers often make requests for money or gifts after establishing a fraudulent relationship. They may give you reasons such as medical bills, travel expenses, or a family emergency. 
• Poor Grammar: Many of these cybercriminals are located outside of the US. Specifically, many operations are located in the Ivory Coast, the Philippines, and Nigeria. Be wary of profiles that claim to be native English speakers but struggle to articulate. 
• Generic Photos: Perpetrators often use images stolen off the internet to create their online alias. If you find other accounts with the same profile picture, you have likely been catfished. 

Real Life Examples of Online Dating Scams. 

Annette Ford, A 57-year-old woman from Western Australia, lost her $780,000 life savings and her home after falling victim to two separate dating scams. She joined the dating site Plenty of Fish after her husband of 33 years, who handles the couple’s finances, ended their marriage. 

She quickly met a man going by the name of William. After months of conversation, William explained that he’d been attacked and mugged outside of his work site, landing him with a $5,000 hospital bill that he was unable to pay. 

Once Ford offered assistance, the requests began coming in more rapidly. She grew suspicious and even confronted William with concerns he was a scammer, but he managed to dismiss these concerns and ultimately stole over $300,000 and drained her self-managed super fund. 

Four years later, Ford was contacted by another dating scammer going by Nelson on Facebook. After initially asking for $2,500 for an investigation, Nelson began sending her money to deposit into a Bitcoin ATM in a likely money laundering dating scam. 

This gave the scammer access to Ford’s bank account and led to unauthorized transactions. She said that “Money was coming into my account and going out of my account that I wasn’t even aware of,” accumulating in another $280,000 theft and two unsuccessful trips to try to visit him. 

After sustaining an injury overworking herself trying to restore her lost funds, Ford now relies on government benefits and is applying for disability support pension. She was forced to couch-surf while searching for an affordable independent living facility⁽³⁾. 

Steps to Avoid Online Dating Scams. 

The best way to combat dating scams is to take precautionary measures before they arise. Employ the following practices to avoid falling victim to a dating scam: 

• Verify Identities: Confirm that the person you are speaking with is actually who they claim. Perform a reverse image search on any images they have on their profile and be cautious of accounts that have been recently created. 
• Never Send Money: Whether a scammer is blackmailing you or using social engineering tactics to coerce you, do not make any payments. Sad stories may tempt you to lend a helping hand, but you should never send money to somebody you’ve never met.  
• Don’t Share Private Data: You should never exchange personal information online with anybody you don’t know. Sharing private or explicit content opens the door for cybercrimes like sextortion. 
• Avoid Clicking Suspicious Links: Any attachments or URLs sent to you can contain malware that could infect your device and expose you to potential extortion. Refrain from opening anything from an unfamiliar sender. 
• Use Video Chats to Confirm Identity: These are harder to fake than images or voice calls. However, the advancement of deepfake technology is allowing for more convincing video call forgery. 
• Check for Inconsistencies: Many scammers are attacking multiple targets at once. If they can’t keep their story straight and constantly mix up information, it may be a sign that your online relationship is actual a dating scam.  
• Report and Block Dating Scammers: If you haven’t relinquished any private information or funds to the scammer, you should block them and report their account to the platform’s system administrator. This can help have their account removed and prevent them from harming you or others. Many platforms, such as Instagram, will also block new accounts created with the same credentials. 

What to Do If You Are a Victim of An Online Dating Scam. 

If you’ve already been targeted in a dating scam, you need to act quickly. You should proceed with the following course of action: 

1. Stop Communication: Don’t engage the dating scammer any further, but refrain from blocking the account. Leave the conversation open until you have collected the necessary evidence and conducted a proper investigation. 
2. Take An Inventory & Collect Evidence: Take screenshots and gather proof of any threats, transactions, manipulation tactics, and other data that will create and clear and undeniable timeline of the crimes committed against you. 
3. Report To Authorities and System Administrators: Begin with filing a police report with local law enforcement who may be able to help if the perpetrator is within their jurisdiction. If they can’t resolve the issue, the FTC and FBI have resources available that can assist you, such as the IC3 hub. You can learn more in our article on reporting cybercriminals to the FBI. 
4. Secure Your Accounts: Update your passwords and login credentials and check for any unauthorized login attempts. You should also review the privacy settings of your accounts on any platforms the scammer could have access to. 
5. Scan For Malware: Run a virus scan if you’ve opened any links or attachments that have been sent to you. You should also check your device for any programs that you have not installed. 
6. Seek Support: Cybersecurity and digital forensics firms can help you investigate and identify scammers and prevent future attacks. They may be able to help get your money back from scammers depending on how the payments occurred and they can help you take back leverage to avoid any further extortion.  

Help For Victims of Online Dating Scams. 

DFC is here to help in the event of dating scams. Our team of experts have years of experience combating sextortion and other cybercrimes that arise on dating sites and other online platforms.  

We can take over communication with the scammer and help remove any leverage they have over you. Additionally, we can analyze metadata within the content shared to identify the location of the criminal to help bring them to justice. 

If you believe you have been targeted in a dating scam, reach out to our Blackmail Helpline today for a complimentary and confidential consultation. 

Sources: 

1. Fraud Reports | Tableau Public 
2. Romance scammers’ favorite lies exposed | Federal Trade Commission 
3. Annette Ford: Perth woman conned out of $780,000 after falling victim to two online romance scams | PerthNow 

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