Are those butterflies in your stomach, or a warning from your gut? When it comes to romance scams, trust your instincts. If it feels too good to be true, it probably is. That “special someone” might be a con artist out to steal your money, personal info, or worse.
Romance scams are on the rise as more people turn to online dating. Almost 70,000 people reported being a victim of a romance scam in 2022, according to the FTC.(1) These fraudsters weave fake relationships, leaving victims heartbroken and thousands of dollars poorer. Worse yet, they shatter trust, making it hard to open your heart again.
It’s important to know the lingo of a romance scammer, those common catch phrases they use to lure you into their honey traps. Learning how to spot the con can protect not only your bank account, but also your well-being and happiness.
Let’s explore some practical know-how to identify and avoid these scams.
Understanding the Psychology of Romance Scammers
Romance scammers are master manipulators at stealing trust and exploiting emotions. Preying on loneliness or a desire for companionship, they’ll shower victims with affection and declarations of love to create an intense emotional connection quickly, a tactic known as love bombing. Using stolen photos and fake identities, these cybercriminals will craft perfect personas to lure you in.
Once they’ve established trust, these crooks will employ isolation tactics that discourage the victim from confiding in others. They might share sob stories to evoke empathy before requesting money, claiming emergencies or travel expenses. Their goal is to manipulate emotions, gain financial control or access to personal data, and leave victims heartbroken and defrauded.
Common Romance Scam Lingo and Red Flags
Here are some common tactics of romance scammers, the phrases they use to perpetuate their schemes, and other red flags.
Love Bombing and Rapid Affection
As we mentioned, love bombing is when the fraudster showers you with flattery and affection early in the relationship to forge a fast connection.
Here are a few common love bombing phrases:
- “You’re the only one for me.”
- “I’ve never felt this way about anyone.”
- “We’re meant to be together.”
- “I’ve never met anyone as perfect as you.”
- “I can’t stop thinking about you. You’re always on my mind.”
The intensity of these statements is designed to create a powerful emotional connection quickly. By lowering your defenses, scammers gain your trust, making it easier to manipulate you into sharing money or personal information later.
Creating a Sense of Urgency and Need
Romance scammers spin sob stories to create a sense of urgency and trick you into giving gifts or money. But it’s all a carefully crafted deception designed to drain your wallet.
Be wary of this common scammer language:
- “I’m in a difficult situation and need your help.”
- “I’m stranded and need money urgently.”
- “My family is in trouble.”
Isolation and Control
Criminals in online dating scams thrive on isolation and control to keep you emotionally dependent and less likely to seek outside advice. They’ll discourage you from communicating with friends and family, claiming others don’t understand or are trying to sabotage the relationship. Through a sense of exclusivity and deep emotional reliance, it’s harder to recognize red flags or escape the manipulation.
Watch out for the following lingo:
- “Let’s keep our relationship private.”
- “It can be our secret.”
- “I don’t trust anyone else.”
- “Delete your dating profile.”
- “Keep this between us.”
Vague or Inconsistent Stories
Stories that don’t add up are a big red flag. Be on the lookout for:
- Inconsistencies in their background or personal details.
- Reluctance to video chat or meet in person.
- Stories that are full of holes.
Trust your instincts. If something doesn’t make sense, question the person and pay close attention to their response. If their explanation feels like an excuse or seems inconsistent, it’s a strong sign you may be dealing with a romance scam. Always verify the scammer is exactly who they say they are.
Financial Requests
If someone you’ve never met in person asks for money or financial gifts, consider it a major red flag. Fraudsters often start with small requests, gradually increasing the amounts as you comply. Before you realize it, you could be scammed out of thousands of dollars.
Be wary of these financial red flags:
- Claims of needing help with travel expenses, medical emergencies, or business troubles.
- Pressure to send gift cards, wire transfers, or cryptocurrency.
- Promises to pay you back after a missing paycheck arrives.
Military or Overseas Worker Tropes
Romance scammers often pretend to be military personnel or overseas workers because these roles give them easy excuses to avoid in-person meetings and delay video calls. They may claim to be in remote areas with poor internet or on secret missions, making it difficult to confirm their identity. The long-distance setup also makes it easier for them to ask for money, often for travel expenses to meet in person.
The following phrases are a big red flag:
- “I’m a soldier stationed overseas.”
- “I’m working on an oil rig.”
- “I work internationally on a container ship.”
How to Recognize Romance Scammer Profiles
To appear more convincing, fake profiles in romance scams use stolen photos of attractive individuals, often from modeling sites, a trick known as catfishing. Their profiles tend to have vague or generic information, with little personal detail or social media presence. They may have few friends or followers.
To test the authenticity of a photo, do a reverse image search:
- Go to Google images.
- Click on the camera icon in the search bar.
- Upload the image, then search to see if the image appears elsewhere online.
Always verify social media profiles before engaging. Check for a history of posts, tagged photos, and genuine engagement to confirm if someone is real or part of a scam.
How to Protect Yourself from Romance Scams
Stay ahead of scams by being proactive:
- Know the lingo and signs of a romance scam.
- Never send money to someone you’ve only met online.
- Be cautious about sharing personal information with someone you don’t know.
- Only use reputable dating platforms that have verification processes and fraud detection measures in place.
- Talk to trusted friends or family members about your online relationships. They can help you spot red flags and avoid getting scammed.
- Don’t be afraid to slow the relationship down. It gives you time to think, get your bearings, and be aware of potential fraud.
- Insist on a video chat or in-person meetup. Scammers won’t want to show their face.
- Always verify the identity of the person you’re talking to. Check out their social media profiles and see if things add up.
What to Do if You’ve Been Scammed
If you’re a victim, take these steps:
- Stop all communication with the scammer.
- Gather evidence: Take screenshots of all interactions with the fraudster, payment details, and other records.
- Report the fraud to the dating platform or social media site.
- Report the scam to the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) and the Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3), the FBI’s hub for reporting cybercrimes.
- Consider working with a third-party cybersecurity company like Digital Forensics Corp.
Recovering with Digital Forensics Corp.
Stay alert to the warning signs and common phrases used in romance scams. Be cautious of love bombing and excessive flattery designed to win your trust quickly. Pay attention to inconsistencies in their story and repeated excuses to avoid video calls or in-person meetings. Most importantly, trust your instincts. If something feels off, it probably is.
Stay safe online. Cybercriminals know how to prey on emotions, making it easy to fall for a scam without realizing it until it’s too late. But Digital Forensics Corp. can help. We specialize in tracking down fraudsters and gathering the evidence needed to prove the scam. If you need help contact our helpline for a free consultation at 800-849-6515.
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