Sexting is a widespread activity in the modern age and has been popularized by movies and TV shows. While these forms of media show the innocent nature of two intimate partners sharing a connection, the dangerous aspects are often left out.
People of any age can be in danger of the potential consequences of sexting despite the social norm that has surrounded it. While sexting between two consenting adults is acceptable behavior, there are circumstances that make the act dangerous.
Whether it’s the threat that it poses to minors or the unexpected repercussions for adults, there are things to consider before hitting send on a sext. In this article, we’ll be covering the potential pitfalls of sexting and what you should be aware of.
What Is Sexting?
Sexting is a combination of the word sex and texting. It refers to the act of engaging in sexual behavior through text messages.
Sexting can involve a text conversation or the trading of suggestive, sexual, or partially nude images and videos. Sexting doesn’t have to be strictly through text messages; it can occur on messaging apps, dating apps, and social media platforms.
The act of sexting can be a way for two people to flirt, engage in intimacy, or maintain sexual intimacy during instances of a long-distance relationship. Done with consent and at an appropriate legal age, sexting can be a way for people in a relationship to explore.
However, there are many instances where sexting can pose a threat to the safety of young people and even adults.
What Are the Dangers of Sexting?
When it comes to sexting, young people and children are especially vulnerable. The average time a teen spends on their phone equates to a 40-hour work week worth of time. The constant exposure to the internet can mean that the time spent on social platforms brings them within reach of predators and scammers on a potentially daily basis.
For adults, the world of social media is accompanied by dating apps, which add a layer of complications. Over half of adults are, or have been on, dating apps.
Some dating apps can be at greater risk than others for fake accounts being run by bad actors. Platforms like Facebook have become targets where scammers seek out elderly individuals to extort in romance scams.
Scams: Sextortion and Blackmail
Many scammers use social media platforms and dating apps to extort and blackmail victims. Because many users of dating apps are using the app for the potential to meet a partner, they may be at higher risk of becoming a victim of sextortion.
Sextortion is when a scammer convinces a victim that they’re someone they’re not to get sexual content from them. The scammer will then blackmail their victim, demanding payment in some form to keep them from releasing the material to friends or family.
There are several dating apps that allow the general public to create an account, setting the barrier for entry incredibly low. These free-use profiles give the users free access to the platform with some restrictions.
Despite the restrictions, they’re able to set their location in major cities, even if they live across the globe, and match with locals in that area. The scammers will create fake profiles using stolen pictures, a made-up biography, and will attempt to scam unsuspecting users.
Social media platforms are also a potential hotbed of activity for romance scammers. Romance scams are any scam that uses the disguise of a romantic opportunity to extort or blackmail someone.
Any social media platform, including messaging apps, can become a space for scammers to reach out to potential victims. Like with dating apps, scammers will create fake profiles to reach out to people.
Revenge Porn
A potential danger of sexting between consenting adults is revenge porn. Revenge porn is when someone threatens to release sexual content to harass, shame, or exploit a person.
While the most common situation is for an ex-partner to threaten to release images, videos, or texts, a third party may also be involved. In certain situations, it’s possible that sensitive sexual material was shared with a third party or was hacked from someone’s device.
No matter who has the sexual content, the threat to release the images is breaking the law by threatening to release them. That makes revenge porn a type of blackmail.
Harm to Reputation
One potential danger of sexting is the harm it can do to a person’s reputation if the content were to be released. Many scammers and bad actors will threaten to release the material to friends, family, or coworkers in an attempt to force their victims to do as they wish.
While most scammers won’t act on their threat because they lose all leverage over their victim by doing so, it could do irreparable harm in instances where it happens. With adults, this could mean awkward conversations with those close to them, losing a job, or affecting high-profile public figures.
The fallout of a public event to an otherwise private conversation or exchange of information can be emotionally scarring for some. The fallout of mental health after a traumatic event comes from dealing with the threats and then seeing them realized.
What Are the Dangers of Underage Sexting?
Teens and children can be targeted with more intensity and insensitivity than adults. As young people develop, they’re learning to be comfortable with their bodies and potentially exploring what relationships can mean.
With underage people and children, there can be a heightened level of shame or prejudice for being involved in any form of sexual activity. Society has struggled with its grip on the taboo subjects of sex and breaking the stigmas surrounding it.
Because underage people face such struggles, their chances of becoming victims are increased. The fact that underage victims are a protected group makes the legal implications of sexual acts involving a minor a serious crime.
The possession or distribution of child sexual material is a felony, and the person who handles them is breaking the law, even if it’s the child whose pictures they are. Extorted children can be manipulated by their attacker if the person is using some form of leverage against them.
The attacker may be pretending to be near the age of the child and convincing them to pursue an in-person relationship. This can turn an issue of sexting into a potential child trafficking incident.
How Can I Talk to My Children About Sexting?
Starting the conversation about safe online practices should start at an early age. The conversation doesn’t need to directly begin with sexual activity on the internet if their introduction to it begins at a young age.
Instead, you can enforce the idea of staying safe on the internet and not engaging with strangers. Depending on the age and level of interaction on the internet, keeping their behavior monitored and limited to certain apps, games, or activities is a good start.
As children get older and their online activity grows toward more social apps, conversations about sex and its potential online threats should begin. Informing them of the legal risks, scammers, and dangers of child trafficking can let them know what sort of activities are inappropriate online.
The important piece is helping your child be prepared — talk to them about discernment, listening to their body, and trusting their instincts. Parental settings and restrictions on devices and apps could also give you a better oversight of the activities of your children to ensure their safety.
Safe Sexting
Adults engaged in relationships with a trusted partner or a verified person can potentially experience safe sexting. Consensual relationships between two people may experience time apart, whether long-distance or throughout the day. Spending time communicating via text can be a great way to keep in touch while also exploring the intimate parts of the relationship.
Here are some ways adults can stay safe while sexting:
Agree on the Details
Before sexting with your partner, it may be a good idea to establish the rules and boundaries. Like with any relationship, communication is key, and setting the expectations of what sexting involves can keep everyone safe and prevent misunderstandings. Let your partner know what you’re comfortable engaging in and what feels uncomfortable.
Rules To Consider
Consider setting rules with your partner about what sexting should look like for your relationship. This can be an agreement to never save pictures or videos or to delete them after a set time. Discuss what level of intimacy these sexual images or videos shall contain and make your voice heard about what is and isn’t comfortable.
Avoid Personal Information
When sending sexual content to a partner, it’s a good idea to leave out any sensitive information or details. This can be leaving out names and not showing your face.
Having easily identifiable details about yourself in a picture could prove harmful. In the unexpected event that your sexual images or videos are hacked or leaked without your consent, the damage could be unpleasant. In the hands of a bad actor, they can be used as blackmail against you or damage your reputation.
Find More Creative Routes
One of the safest measures to take when it comes to sexting is to not engage in it. Of course, this method may not feel intuitive to some, but perhaps there are other methods you and your partner can explore.
For those who consider texts and messages as a means to explore their sexuality, methods that don’t leave traces could be a good compromise. Talking on the phone can provide an opportunity to talk more openly about desires while not being a way to be immediately saved.
For couples in a long-distance relationship, this can be a great way to connect and experience a real-time connection. Leaving each other notes to be found can act as a way to create a love connection without the need to create a digital footprint.
There are many non-digital ways to grow an intimate relationship; talking to your partner can help you see what ideas sound mutually exciting and safe.
What Can I Do if Someone Is Threatening To Expose Me?
No one wants to deal with the threat of exposure from their intimate photos, videos, or text conversations. Facing this situation is uncomfortable, stressful, and scary, but there are several steps you can take.
The most important thing to keep in mind is to remain calm and know that there are resources to ensure you’re protected. If there has been a breach of trust, a scammer, or any issue of exposure from sexting, it’s important to take some crucial steps.
Here’s what you and your loved ones can do to start the process of dealing with a threat:
- Document the issue by saving all conversations, images, and videos between the person making the threat and the victim. Many devices can take screenshots of conversations, save media, or screen record what is displayed within an app. If there are details that exist outside the app or platform, have the victim write down the situation in their own words.
- Contact local law enforcement and ask to speak with someone who handles cybercrime. If your local police don’t have a division to handle these types of crimes, you can contact IC3 (Internet Crime Complaint Center), which is a division of the FBI. If the case involves a minor, you can also contact the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children.
- Contact Digital Forensics, where our team of experts is on standby 24/7 to help you get control of your situation. Our team of experts will be able to unveil the attacker, help bring them to justice, and document your case for legal purposes. Our sextortion helpline is available to anyone needing immediate assistance in matters involving sexting and the many dangers that come with it.
Sources:
The Public and Online Dating in 2024 | SSRS
Protect Yourself Against Romance Scams | Department of Homeland Security
